JoshWeed.com
Josh Weed and his wife Lolly
Josh Weed, a therapist from Seattle, and his wife Lolly published a post on Josh's blog a few days ago. In it they told his readers that he is both Mormon... and gay. The couple uses the post - which is nearly 64-hundred words long - to explain their unique relationship in great detail.
Lolly knew Josh was gay when they married. The couple has three daughters. And because of their genuine love for each other, Josh describes their sex life as, quote: "a better sex life than most people I personally know. Most of whom are straight."
Here's more from Slate:
Josh remains, in his words, “very happily married to a woman” even though he has long identified as gay, because he also considers himself a “a devout and believing Mormon.” When Josh came out to his parents at the age of 13, his father served in the local stake presidency, meaning that he helped oversee several Mormon congregations. His parents nonetheless remained supportive of him—as did Lolly, who has been friends with Josh since the two were kids. Despite his homosexuality they have all agreed with his decision to stay true to the doctrines of Mormonism, including temple marriage, which can only be “between a man and a woman” and is “ordained of God” as one of the religion’s most sacred covenants. Weed says that this decision is an entirely satisfying one. “I am gay. Iam Mormon. I am married to a woman. I am happy every single day.”
After publishing their story online, the couple says they received a slew of very positive responses on their blog post. In this YouTube video they talk about that - and explain a bit more about why they are sharing their story.
Josh and Lolly's story underscores recent developments within the Mormon community on homosexuality.
While the Latter-Day Saints Church officially refers to being gay as, quote: "Same-Gender Attraction," several hundred LDS Church members with a group called Mormons Building Bridges marched in unity with the LGBT community in Salt Lake City's gay pride parade earlier this month. And that comes less than four years after the LDS Church stepped into the Prop 8 debate in California, campaigning against marriage equality.
But in a fascinating opinion this week for The New York Times looking at the LDS Church's history with civil rights issues, Princeton professor and author Neil J. Young argues that Mormons Building Bridges and groups like it may have a tough road ahead:
... group members may find themselves weighing their personal and political convictions against their spiritual commitments. Sonia Johnson described that painful choice as “trying to decide which child to save from the fire.” Members of Mormons Building Bridges will have to act carefully to ensure they don’t get burned, but there are ways the group might remain in the church’s good standing while also bringing about change, if that is what they want. Petitioning the church’s leadership to alter its policies or theology will not produce the desired results, and protesting the church’s actions will most likely elicit harsh rebukes or worse. History has been clear that the church does not submit to pressure from below nor does it overlook challenges to its leadership.
This week also saw the release of a new guidebook, co-written by a former church bishop with input from Mormon families and congregational leaders, that seeks to help Mormon families with gay teens reconcile their faith with raising a gay child. That book was published by the Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University.
Reuters reports:
University social scientist Caitlin Ryan launched her research for the cross-cultural, cross-denominational project in 2002, seeking to understand the impact of acceptance on the well-being of gay and gender-variant youth.
Her co-author for the 25-page booklet, due for online release (yesterday), was Robert Rees, a former literature professor from the University of California at Los Angeles who was a Mormon bishop in the 1980s.
The guide blends Mormon scripture and statements on family from church presidents with research that shows family support and acceptance to be critical to the health and well-being of gay youths.
This issue, no matter where it goes from here, is sure to be a fascinating one for both Mormons and non-Mormons, alike.
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Are the Mormons reconsidering their hideous stand against same-sex marriage? It appears an evolution is occurring.
This is completely bogus. How is this guy's choice to deny his own homosexuality correlated to the Mormon church "reconciling gay rights and faith"? They have no impact on the church's agenda against gay rights. Geez, the guy could even be bisexual, and if he chooses to deny his own attractions, whatever, that's his business, but I can't see trying to portray this has having jack squat to do with gay rights or Mormon agenda. They're STILL funding anti-gay legislation and they still abhor homosexuality.
Someone forgot to explain to this guy that LGBT, which the Mormons are stated to fight against as sinful, the B stands for bisexual - it isn't acceptable.
So he thinks maybe he won't be seen as a freak by having a wife? Many have gone that route before him, just they didn't tell their wives like he did. Guess there aren't too many available men - or what is really wrong with her.
It is only a Romney coordinated damage control campaign in the wake of the Prop 8 Hate the Gays Mormon initiative.
The LGBT vote added to those not voting for any Mormon, are too much to just ignore, so spin a new line until Nov 7th, then be the gay bigot again.
“I was a Republican until I got to New York and had to live on $18 a week. It was then that I became a Democrat.”
Julia Child
most free loaders do vote Democrat.
The source of Mormonism's delusional insanity, and their historical hatred of African Americans and Native Americans, and their current dislike of the LGBT community:
"Low IQ & Conservative Beliefs Linked to Prejudice"
They can't help it people, they just need to be fenced off into a corner and kept there where they can procreate and fight all they want. I guarantee that after about 3-4 years they will have self-cannibalized, this is pretty easy, just send them all to Utah. And they lived happily ever after, Amen.
PROOF OF LOW IQ:
Mormon opinions of Native Americans
Mormon Genocide Doctrine:
"I saw a striking contrast in the progress of the Indian people today.... The day of the Lamanites is nigh. For years they have been growing delightsome, and they are now becoming white and delightsome, as they were promised. In this picture of the twenty Lamanite missionaries, fifteen of the twenty were as light as Anglos, five were darker but equally delightsome The children in the home placement program in Utah are often lighter than their brothers and sisters in the hogans on the reservation.
At one meeting a father and mother and their sixteen-year-old daughter were present, the little member girl - sixteen - sitting between the dark father and mother, and it was evident she was several shades lighter than her parents - on the same reservation, in the same hogan, subject to the same sun and wind and weather....These young members of the Church are changing to whiteness and to delightsomeness. One white elder jokingly said that he and his companion were donating blood regularly to the hospital in the hope that the process might be accelerated."(General Conference Report, October, 1960; Improvement Era, December 1960, pp. 922-923)[Appendix p. A-15].
__________
If you think about it, the only cure for the Mormons is something called "evolution"; I put it in quotes so the Mormons reading this comment will know that this is a word they might need to look up in a dictionary.
Like I've always said:
"There's no better cure for a low IQ than good old evolution"
Just let them self-cannibalize and whoever ends up alive at the end, we retest them and then reintegrate them into society. This should be a relatively easy process.
Bisexual! He enjoys sex with a woman. Bisexual people can be faithful. Just like straight or gay people do not have to sleep with everyone they have the urge and opportunity to sleep with.
He seems rather confused, what kind of therapist is he? massage therapist?
Good guess, Timothy, but see below...
OMG, dumb and dumber!
Someone needs to explain to these 'gay' Mormons, from Mitchy Boy the first gay Bishop, to Joshy boy the gay-married-to-woman, that to be 'gay' is not a political position, if you aren't in a gay relationship, aren't in a gay sexual relationship, you are just big phonies.
Under your rules, heck, I'm a millionaire, if I say it, it is so, I don't need to prove it with a bank account. That is how the new 'gay' Mormons define themselves: I'm Gay (a millonaire), but I'm chaste (have no money) - but I'm gay, trust me, Romney isn't using me.
I think Jerry Springer determined the test best: Have you had a johnson in you lately? N0 - you're not gay. YES - you are. If you only dreamt about it, you are like every hormoned charged junior high school guy- dreaming of sex, doesn't mean you aren't a virgin any more.
Mormons, redefining Homosexuality and Diversity in time for the election.
Motive??????
Hahaha, I was just thinking of how incredibly stupid Mormons are, I tell you what, it gets me every time. I'll literally just be walking around my house, the grocery store, you know, just doing all sorts of things, and then I'll suddenly get this picture of a Mormon in my head, and while the picture remains, I'll look towards the ground, and with a grin on my face, I'll begin to shake my head side-to-side while thinking, "Seriously bro what are you hahaha, WOW, W! T! F!"; and then I'll return to whatever I was doing before I had the Mormon moment.
I know right?! Like how they believe in self-reliance so you don't have to mooch off of others' hard work, or how they don't have alcohol or drug addictions, or how they won't get any STDs because they don't sleep around, or how they are many times one of the first responders to worldwide natural disasters with semi trucks and airplanes full of food, clothing and medical supplies, many times with members spending countless hours and dollars to make hygiene kits or needed blankets, or how Gallup says that they, and other highly religious people are more happy and have greater well-being. Ha-Ha! They are crazy!
Well the only thing he does different than in-the-closet Mormon gay men, and even non-Mormons, is he told his wife he is gay, but they both believe he can reconcile being gay by having a female wife, and female sex.
Electro shock doesn't work. Pray the gay away doesn't work. But marrying a woman will?
This story is a load of horse-pucky. Seriously. I'm not only ex-mormon, and gay - but I also served a full time mission "honorably", and got my temple endowments too.
The church would rather parents alienated and shamed their kids than 'built bridges'. Just ask my Mom - who basically couldn't talk to me for like 5 years after I came out - and I'm an only child. When my Dad died, and she was alone - she decided to leave her faith at the church house steps, and love her kid when she's not at the church. It works for us - finally.
She still believes that Mormon crap (we agree to disagree on this topic) but she loves me and she loves my partner and my partner's kids. THAT is building bridges - not telling your wife you are gay but finding some way to not be ostracized by staying married. That's just denial. When I came out, every single one of my friends that I made on my mission, to the one, decided that I was no longer worthy of their friendship. They all refused to talk to me going forward. Most of my childhood friends too, with all but two or three exceptions. My partner has friends she has known from childhood - I lost all of mine because I was a Mormon and gay and I decided to live a psychologically healthy life in a relationship with someone whom I am physically and emotionally attracted to - not by getting married within hetero-normative construct or 'remaining celibate' as I was instructed to do by the church leadership. It's really sweet that these Mormons think they can affect change, by marching in the pride parade - but it's also delusional. The LDS's church's roots in isolating groups that differ from their mainstream is legendary. It's not likely to change.
Better yet - how's this tid bit: Mitt Romney (or President Romney as we called him (I guess he liked the title)) was the stake president in my mission area when I served. I served in the Massachusetts Boston Mission. I met and interacted with President Romney on a number of occasions, (though I doubt he'd remember me), over the course of that year and half. My impression was that his brain was made of marshmallow fluff, but that's just me.
Here's another fun fact: A former BYU professor, D. Michael Quinn, was fired and excommunicated for writing a book titled 'Same-Sex Dynamics among Nineteenth-Century Americans: A Mormon Example' (Available new and used on Amazon). In it he cites examples of gay couples who crossed the plains with the Mormons, and that the church leadership (Joseph Smith and then Brigham Young (my great great grand uncle)) had no problem with it. In fact, it wasn't until the early 20th century, when a straight, married white man molested a couple of boys in southern Utah that Mormons began stigmatizing gays.
So, even then, it seems that homophobic people were confusing homosexuality with membership in NAMBLA. So ridiculous. Homosexuals are not pedophiles and never have been. Homophobia is an institutionalized fact within LDS culture. It hasn't always been so, but it sure is now - and it's not likely to change. Anyone trying to 'reconcile' their sexuality with the culty business that is Mormonism is just clueless and lacking in personal fortitude (in my opinion). Sad for the couple. Hope they work it out. I am not optimistic though.
Quinn, who is gay, was also hounded out of BYU for a number of his other writings (he had access to church vaults that would leave today's historians green with envy). Post-Manifesto Polygamy was another. Mitt Romney's great-grandfateher, Miles P. Romney, was ordered to establish a community in Mexico to "preserve a remnant of the seed."
Thanks, Wama... I was going to put up a link to an Exmormon.org discussion on the subject, but one of them wound up a little raunchy. There are three ladies who post there regularly about the devastation they experienced when they unknowingly married gay me.
Here's a blog reply from another instead...
http://cedarpocket.wordpress.com/2012/06/13/in-which-i-feel-compelled-to-start-a-blog-because-of-a-club-and-a-unicorn/
The LDS-affiliated organization, "Evergreen" offers "reparative" therapy still, which is absolutely at odds with both "APA"s (American Psychiatric and American Psychological Assns.) which regard as unethical any therapeutic approach where gender orientation is the goal.
It's not unheard of for gay men to have or have had relationships with women without necessarily feeling the pressure to 'go into the closet'. I've had relationships with women, but I ended them because something in my gut felt that it was fundamentally dishonest; particularly when I became aware that I was much more into guys. I don't want to judge the guy too harshly. He may be more bisexual than 'gay', and only sees himself as gay because of his church's rigid binary of gay/not gay. But, if he is more attracted to men, I can't help but think that it's incredibly unhealthy situation, and even more disturbing his the potential for his relationship as part of the LDS propaganda war on homosexuality. I think it's great that Mormons are 'reassessing' their views on homosexuality, but publishing some pamphlets and having some alliance groups does not address the problem of their massive funding of anti-prop8 and similar referendum campaigns. Color me dubious, but if it took them until 1978 to relinquish the racist positions based on outdated Old Testament justifications of slavery dating back to the 16th and 17th centuries, can we really afford to patiently await their sea-change?
This self deluding couple seem to obviously have a loving relationship with each other. But they do, it seems to me, cheapen the word "love" the way they use so indiscriminately, referring to individuals writing comments to whatever internet publication thay had put forward as showing them love, and sharing love with them. People on the brief encounter of cyberspace sending fleeting monents of text expression are "showing or sharing love?" Really?
How does anyone make a life decision at the age of 13 when just beginning to discover that they are a sexual being that they are straight, gay, or perhaps something inbetween, as this Josh seems to be. He appears to be confused as an child and an adult, and i hope that description of his occupation as a "therapist" refers to a physical therapist, or some other medical branch other than mental health. And it does appear that his quite lovely wife Lolly has a rather mercurial disposition, in the brief moments of this video clip she oscillates back and forth from happiness to sadness to a sillyiness to pensive sadness. It makes me wonder what the source of her inner turmoil might be that so expresses itself even in her rapidly changing moods and facial expressions.
Well, I hope they got over their little 24 hour or so "look at me" indulgences, and got out to the pool and began vactioning, and away from their cam corder. But I'm really puzzled what this blog posting is supposed to represent on either the Mormon Church or "Gay Marriage"...it really seem to be more about two idosyncratic individuals having there meaningless "me generation" moment.
It seems to me that if a gay man marries a woman, there will be a great deal of emotional problems, especially if the woman does not know he is gay before they get married.
"While the Latter-Day Saints Church officially refers to being gay as, quote: 'Same-Gender Attraction'"
Actually, "Same-Gender" or "Same-Sex" Attraction are more accurate and scientifically valid or operationally defined terms. Same-sex attraction is used in the scientific literature, not only by the LDS church. The term "gay" refers to an identity that is often, not always, assumed by the person experiencing same-sex attraction and implies added construction and meaning that is dependent on individual experience and interpretation. Therefore, not all people who experience same-sex attraction should be considered "gay."
Dang, we appear to have acquired our own MOAP here (a PhD friend and I decided this is an appropriate acronym for "Mormon Apologist"; he originally wanted "MOP," but we settled on a consensus).
In a word, this is nonsense, Willy. The clinical term is "homosexuality," and modern style guides, which represent contemporary values and usages recommend "gay" and "lesbian." The term "same sex attraction" is not found in any of the various DSM's, which originally defined it as a psychological deviency.
http://www.truthwinsout.org/blog/2010/02/6983/
If you think I am wrong, ask yourself: Why does disgraced “sexual reorientation coach” Richard Cohen (pictured) love the term SSA so much? It is all over his website and his books. He is basically turning you into a sick patient rather than a real person.
We should not help our enemies by adopting their language, which is specifically designed and employed to portray us as freaks with a problem that needs to be fixed.
The term "gay" is an identity. It exists as an interpretation of the experience of same-sex attraction within a particular contemporary societal paradigm.
Watch Willy folks. He's about begin a "Because I said so" defense of his thesis and insist it has academic validity.
the guy sounds like he prefers an alternative life style i dont think he;s a true gay he prefers man and loves women he's bisexual thats what it sounds like. if he was truly gay he would persue that life with a gay partner or get divorced because sooner or later it will happen .
Please they are reconsidering their position because they see which way the wind is blowing. They see that gay marriage will be legalized across the board before too long. Then they are going to start screaming for their "marriage equality" so they can marry two sisters and their cousin.
After their rabid opposition to gay marriage, they can go @!$%# themselves. Hopefully, we fight them just as hard as they fought the homosexuals.
They're more intransigent than that, A.L. They'll re-write their history about their ancestors and act all angry and offended that anyone would suggest those practices were taking place (you're right, though, that is the case). They've done this with racism and polygamy already (most Mormons are unaware founder Joseph Smith introduced the practice in Illinois, and they believe the nonsense that it was not widespread here in Utah).
They are a largely insecure and troubled people; independent thinking is not for them (note how Mitt had to "check in" with LDS leaders in Utah over his "campaign positions" on gay marriage and abortion when he was running for governor of Massachusetts). They prefer the certainty of their beliefs rather than the possible terror of "not knowing."
Praise the Lord and pass the Etch-a-Sketch...
Well, what is apparent about Mr. Weed is that he's managed to gather some attention for his "counseling" practice, and a number of people in my circles have called him a fraud. I'll reserve final judgment, but I think my gay friends are probably correct with their analysis "He's just extremely confused." As one who's had extensive contact with the gay community here behind the Zion Curtain, I can report that there are lot of middle-aged gays, many with children, and a number of bitter, devastated women many of whom were in the dark while their one-time spouses were being counseled to marry to overcome their "problem."
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2012/06/16/500973/gay-married-mormon-ex-gay/
Yesterday, Think Progress reported that "happily married" gay Mormon, Josh Weed, may actually practice ex-gay therapy as part of his profession. On his own bio he describes helping those “with sexual identity issues and unwanted sexual attractions and/or behaviors."
http://www.auburnvalleycounseling.org/
Gay.net contacted Weed regarding this controversy and he told them, “I don’t believe that a gay person can or even should change their sexual attraction.”
This leaves the situation in murky territory. The harms of ex-gay therapy are as much the result of denying or refusing to act on one’s sexual orientation as of actually trying to change it.
If Weed is truly affirming sexual identity in his clients, then there is no controversy to discuss. But in the original story, he explained that the entire reason he was coming out and telling his story is because he was already sharing it with his clients to help them. If Weed is using his own choices as an example for how individuals can conform to heterosexist ideals by simply ignoring the sexual orientation that is part of who they are, then he is advocating harm and reinforcing internalized stigma. Weed’s apparent happiness with his unique life choices in no way justifies suggesting the same choices for others.
This sort of "mind farking" is utterly typical of the LDS culture that gave rise to Mitt "I'm not sure what I said, but I stand by it" Romney. It's toxic to effective critical thinking (and policy), renders "transparency" opaque, and is exploited by slick charlatans (a minority, but still a very powerful force) while creating a block of "social inertia" that leads to the multi-level marketing operations (see Frank Vandersloot) and "alternative medicines" that are largely based in quackery. I note Utah Senator Orrin Hatch has been behind much of the "gutting" of provisions in the Pure Food and Drug Act, and he's operated on behalf of his constituents and relatives in the "Home Remedy" and "Homeopathic" area of fringe medicine.